21- Counting down the days

10 days and then it will be freedom. Still 10 days and I’ll say that I’ve done it, after 88 days. I’ll be able to apply for my second Visa. I’m looking forward to say that, especially because the end of my farm job will coincide with a departure. The start line toward a long road trip which will bring me up north to Whitsundays and further.

I feel like I’ve been planning this trip for ages, even if I’m aware that I’ve been gathering information and interesting news about the places I’ll visit just for a couple of weeks.

I’ve set out a long but clear pattern which it’s going to be the right choreography for the last period of my first year overseas. Then, it will be Italy for a while, finally Australia again, next January. I know, I’m conscious that I was born to do this kind of life. Travelling’s always been my dream. There’s a pretty famous phrase, by the writer Mark Twain, which say:

“ Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor, catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

What he said has become my reason of life. I’m aware of the fact that I can’t do it forever, but now, right now, it’s the moment of my life where I need to explore, discover, dream as he said.

“Life is short, break the rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly, laugh uncontrollably, and never regret anything that made you smile”

20 - The language issue

Given that I’m living abroad, in a Country which is totally different from mine, whether for the different language or for the completely different style of live and habits, sometimes I think and I even reckon  how good I am (or we are, if it’s been talking about foreigners in general) at living/surviving without doing what I’m able to do (being an engineer), leaving my close friends and my family in Italy and, particularly, speaking in English.

I’m going to explain better the concept. If you’re traveling somewhere as a tourist, no matter if you speak English or not, you need to enjoy your holiday in your lush accommodation, spending most of the day laying on a sheltered beach, walking up the hillside along the famous track which has been organized expressly for tourists. The main achievement that you are pursuing is a holiday that makes you healthier, richer (culturally talking) and rejuvenated.

On the other side, if you live abroad and your main goal consists in settling down in the Country where you’ve landed on, the concern is much more different and elaborated. Far more, because you need to acquire the capacity to speak properly the new language you’re facing on and becoming understandable as much as you can with the people you meet along your “journey”.

Obviously, as far as I know, this sounds easier to say than to do.

Firstly, you should (and probably you need) to understand and plunge in a new, different culture for a better comprehension of why the people act as they act, so in a different way compared to yours.

The second point you need to be aware of is the fact that it might be possible that you’re going to change, partially or completely, your habits and your ideas about how to approach the life. Let me clearer. When you are living in your own Country you perfectly know what  you can expected from the other people when you talk with them, hang out and work with them. Because willy-nilly there’s a basic code in a population’s genetic which is common, in my opinion, for all the people who live in the same Nation and who were born in it. But if you leave your own Country, off to another one, you should expect that this “code” will be different, not necessary better or worse, just different. And if you want to live there, you must get it, even if you have to sacrifice some ideas or concepts which you were sure about.

Thirdly, and I’d like to bring out an example to support the next statement, you must be proud of what you’re doing and be confident in how you’re doing it. Because sooner or later you’ll come across difficulties that even knowing that you were going to face on, you’ll find impossible to overcome. But you don’t have, for any reason, give up, yet you must knuckle it down.

For instance, a few days ago I was loafing in the town where I’m living and some thoughts (that can be related to the path of learning English in the first months I was here) came in my mind. And I burst into laughing remembering when they taught me the difference pronunciation between “leaving” and “living”. Two different worlds separated by different meanings but so similar in the sound for a non-native speaker as I am.

And what about “beach” and “bitch”? In my opinion it’s really funny listen to people who tried to explain to me how much different are these two worlds in the meaning and in the sound and the effort they put to tell me that. Funnier was the reaction when they understood that I couldn’t actually get the difference! Nevertheless now that I got it, it still difficult for me understand why a native speaker can’t understand when it’s been asked “Where is she LIVING?”, pronouncing it as “leaving”. Come on! Why you can’t figure out that I wanted to use “living”, even if I said “leaving”, by the contest?!

Then I know that is another challenge to face, because when they can’t understand you, even though they could, it means that still you’re not good enough to manage this new language. But, as I said, never give up: as you learn, from the scratch, how to say “hello” or “goodbye”, one day, you’ll be able to work out how to speak, listen and interact properly. AS far as I concern, that day is still far, but with perserverance, willing of learn and optimism, I will do it.

19 - Looking forward

It’s a boring Wednesday afternoon, still in the library, still in Gatton, after 3 months. I’ve been setting the alarm since that 11st of july when I arrived here to lift my life up, to push myself towards new achievements, reachable after a long period of effort, struggling to get the chance to apply for this damn second Working Holiday Visa. Unwittingly, I put myself in a difficult situation, in a little word where the most big challenge is not working in a farm, not waking up early in the morning or figuring out what those strange people (with beard and rings on their ears, covered by tattoo meaningless) keep on saying with their particular and puff English. Nope, none of these.

The worst and biggest difficulty is surviving. Exactly. I’ve been playing around a way to spend my days in Gatton craving that the time flies as quickly as it’s possible. As I’ve always tried to do in my life, in Italy firstly and in Australia then, I’m steering the rudder of my daily existence in order to obtain the best from every single day. However, here, with all the respect for the dwellers of this small town, the time’s not running at all. I’ve got the hunch and the feeling that I’m getting really bored here and, furthermore, my final achievements are fading away, I cannot grasp them anymore. Every day’s become as the day before, there’s no difference, or at least you can’t notice that. Sometimes I’ve dwelt upon my life here, thinking about what I’ve done so far, what I’m about to do and the new challenges which are waiting for me over there, close to the horizon. I found out that I’ve no regrets, nothing which I’d redo in a another way. I’m proud of my experience and satisfy of what I chose to do in order to change my life coming here.

Thanks to these thoughts I’ve managed to live in Gatton till today, 16^th of October, without giving up the farm job. I’m aware of my strenghtnesses, which allow me to pursuit on my path during all this period in this town. I’m even conscious of my weaknesses which represented one of the reasons that could have made me in the condition to leave Gatton for a better and more Australian life in a big city.

Nevertheless, I’m still here, one more month and I’ll be able to say: “I did it!!”. And I’m really looking forward to do it, to get this second Visa, hoping that all I’ve done is worthy, and it will pay me back next year, when I’ll try, truly, to settle in Australia.

18 - Being italian nowadays

I've just woken up after a short nap in the afternoon; this life in Gatton has been making me tired. Tired of working in a farm where I can't find a better stimulation then complete the 88 days required to get the Second Visa and then fly away from this place. The daily life is not really exciting, yet there's not much to do and everyday I need t remind to myself that I'm still in Australia. I'm overseas, I've been on the other part of the globe almost for 9 months for many reasons. Above all the decision to leave came from I desire that was inside myself, for a research of personal motivations that I couldn't find when I was in my own Country.

I postponed my departure too many time when suddenly some facts turned my idea into reality. After I woke up in this early afternoon and I watched a video on a particular website, one of these facts have come in my mind reminding me how the Country which gave me birth is becoming an unmitigated disaster. I'm talking about the politics and its politicians who, apparently, have been appointed by their electors, in order to do the interests of the population. However, this is not happening and it's not going to happen at all.

Anyway, I was saying that I watched a video related to the cost of the politics in Italy. In that video has been showed that a parliamentarian of the italian Republic has proposed to reduce the difference, that nowadays is so incredibly clear and marked, between the annuity that a "normal" person gets after 40 years of work and the annuity that a politicians gets just after 5 years in the Parliament. It's a fact which is unthinkable, such marked difference wouldn't exist, not even in a kidding hypothesis. If I felt under the weather this morning because I'm tired of this life in Gatton, as I said at the beggining, after watching the video I mentioned my mood skyrocket towards the sadness. 

It has been said that at the vote, following the proposal of the parliamentarian, has taken part 520 politicians: 22 of them voted "yes", in order to abolish the privilege to receive the annuity just after 5 years "working" (it would be better to say "sitting") in the Parliament; the rest of the, 498 (!), voted "no".

Being italian make me embarrassed hearing this news. It's a felony! And it's a shame that the population has to withstand the burden of the cost of the politics without receiving back anything. My family and most of my friends are living there, where this is happening and I feel really sorry for them. Even because it's my Country and, maybe, in a future, I'm supposed to go back there.

Nevertheless these kind of news related to the politics, bad economy and situations of daily life (I'm referring, for instance, at the problem of the schedule time of trains in Italy that are always late), I love my Country. I love it because it represents the place where I was born and I lived continuously for 27 years. 

However, I'm conscious that the italian reality is becoming worse and worse day by day, so far there's not a future at the horizon, there's not hope for a better life which could allow the italian families to live with dignity. Unfortunately, every single aspect of their life is strictly correlated with the politics and its decisions. The decisions themselves represent, at the same time, the upside and the downside. They are the upside if they have been observed from the point of view of the parliamentarians because all the choices undertaken, have the main goal to make the already bright and good life of the politicians even better, in despite of the population and their economical state. The downside, of course, has been viewed from the same population that is becoming day after day poorer.

 It's disconcerting being the witness of these facts and not having the power and the possibilty to do something to change the situation.

Furthermore, it's frustrating the thought that the people who love are still there, involved and completely soaked in this reality that it's not going to change.